White as a Ghost!

[DLBConductor]

I am a real Newbie when it comes to firearms.  I bought my first pistol (SA XD 9mm SC) last November.  I will say that I took to shooting like a duck takes to water. I have taken private shooting lessons, obtained my plastic, practice 2-3 times a week at the range, and now carry 24-7.  

The knowledge I gained about Situational Awareness and self-defense in the last 3 months has greatly changed my life. Now that I spend most of my time in the yellow zone, I feel better about myself and more confident in my ability to protect myself as a 68-year-old. I find that the greatest thing I have gained is situational awareness.  The simple change from moving from the white zone to the yellow zone has given me far more confidence than the fact of becoming a competent shooter and carrying a pistol 24/7.

Last week at the range, one of the members gave me the opportunity to shoot several of his .45 pistols and an AR15.  It was a great experience.

Today, I had lunch with my lunch buddies, one of whom is a real Hoplophobe.  After mentioning how much I enjoyed shooting the AR-15, he said, "You are not the same person I knew three months ago.  I don't like all this talk about guns. It scares me. I liked it better when you just talked about music." When I looked over at him, he was as "white as a ghost." I could tell that he was not only uncomfortable but physically affected by my discussion about guns. I tried to allay some of his fears by explaining how guns are simply tools and that without a "booger hook upon a bang switch," he was perfectly safe around firearms. Then, I decided to drop the subject. I am just glad he was not aware that I had been carrying concealed at our lunches for nearly a month.

I talked with my wife about the incident and in analyzing my friend, I have concluded that (1) he lives totally in the white zone, (2) he does not want to admit that evil exists in the world because it then might come to him, (3) because guns of any kind are outside of his personal experience, he truly is afraid of them. I am concerned that he lives in a dream world and seems totally unaware of the dangers that exist right within his own sphere. I told my wife, "I really hope that he has a guardian angel because he is the perfect victim." He would rather stay comfortably unprepared in the white zone rather than face that something bad might happen to him. 

The last three months have been a period of positive change in my life. Taking responsibility for my own safety has given me a freedom that allows me to live more confidently in the real world. Because of my changed attitude, I am far safer than I was before. I was a little surprised and dismayed by my friend's reaction but having been somewhat in his place three months ago, I do have an inkling of what he is feeling. However, after two incidents with BGs, I had my wake-up call. Only time will tell whether he will be willing to face reality but I can't make that decision for him.

[RoyGBiv]

I hope you and your friend both remain safe.
I hope you don't ever need to draw your weapon except for practice (or maybe a competitive match )
I hope you enjoy your new-found confidence living the yellow life.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It was a good reminder.

[Heartland Patriot]

Kudos to you. And I agree with your assessment about your friend. I believe that there are a LOT of folks who refuse to admit that there IS such a thing as evil in this world and that bad things CAN happen to YOU. They don't want to "be afraid" so they refuse (vehemently and violently when confronted) to admit these things. Once you start looking at the world the way many of us do, it is like having blinders taken off of your eyes, and you can never see things the same again.

[The Annoyed Man]

I'm sorry you've had to go through this with your friend, but it is a perfect illustration of the paradigm shift that it takes to make the transition from the hippie viewpoint that "the world is a warm fuzzy place, or it would be if we just had enough government," to the realist viewpoint that the world is in fact a dangerous place, and if he's unwilling to face that with open eyes, then while he doesn't necessarily deserve what happens to him, it is equally difficult to be sympathetic when something does happen.

It's kind of like if a friend of yours got hurt because he decided to cross the street with his eyes closed on the presumption that all vehicles would necessarily avoid him. Well, the ones who see him, have a conscience, and are able to do so without killing themselves will probably try to avoid him. But that doesn't account for those who just don't see him, are drunk, or are just plain malicious and looking to hurt somebody.

[RPB]

RE: talking about firearms with friends/relatives

After it was mentioned once here, I informed my niece who is with me a lot, that if anything ever occurred such as a robbery or armed person in a restaurant/store where we were, to not stare at me expecting me to do something, I may and I may not ... I'll decide on the timing, the if and the when, if there is a when ...(Once I was in a store being robbed by 2 armed men, I could have dealt with the one assigned to me ... luckily I saw the other one assigned to the Manager and cashier 40 feet away up front of the store).... and please please please do not say "UNCLE ___ GET YOUR GUN OUT ...."

I really don't tell many people I carry ... only a few know, and they've been informed similarly.

[DLBConductor]

Thanks for the encouragement. When talking with my close friends, it is hard to refrain from wanting to share the benefits of (1) taking situational awareness/self-defense classes and (2) getting a CHL. But, it is obviously a very personal decision and there are many who disagree with the idea of taking responsibility for their own safety.

While I have limited my remarks to the enjoyment I find in going to the range to develop my shooting skills, even that seems to be a threat to most of my friends, who, like myself, come primarily from academe. "I know. I know. I should pick better friends." Almost without exception, they strongly believe that no one other than the police or the military should possess guns and they are not really too sure about the military. Their reaction is that somehow in my old age (68), I have suddenly "gone off my rocker" and become obsessed with the whole idea of needing to protect myself. From my viewpoint, I feel that for the first time in my life, I am willing to accept that is my responsibility to deal with the reality of the world in which I now live. I don't see my new way of thinking and living as obsessive. Instead I find it to be very comfortable, natural, and enabling. It frees me to live a life "free from fear."

The only people that know that I have a CHL are my wife and my sister and I plan to keep it that way. My wife is very supportive. Whenever I leave the house, just before she kisses me, she always asks, "Do you have your gun?" It makes her feel more secure to know I carry 24/7. She wants me to come home safe and sound. She thinks my friends are the crazy ones for living in a "dream" world, far removed from reality.

I will continue to enjoy meeting with these lunch buddies but I have decided to avoid the topics of situational awareness, self-defense, and guns when around them. It will be their loss. Instead, I will share my new found love of shooting with the friends I am making at my local rifle and pistol club and here on TCHLforum. It is certainly not the first time I have compartmentalized part of my life and probably won't be the last.

Much thanks for the great comments!

[AND FOR THE RECORD: "I will be 69 years "YOUNG" in April and don't plan on losing my physical conditioning or mental acuity anytime soon!"]

[gdanaher]

Unanticipated things happen. My experience with the need for personal defense dates back to the early 1970's, and the Israeli-Lebanese frontier. I have not had an occasion to draw a weapon, nor have I had an occasion where I witnessed a violent crime, in the last 40 years. Having said that, unanticipated stuff happens, and it doesn't wait for you to go home and load a pistol. Most people are well insulated--even paranoid folks are sometimes right. My wife who used to be anti gun has come around, and neither of us could ever be described as right wing conservative loonies.

Your friends who turn white at the thought of having a weapon nearby need to be educated. Hopefully, educated in a gentle and loving way. There are other ways as well. Spending time in Dallas on DART platforms can be dicey these days, but can also be educational.

A rep for DART made a comment the other day that people could carry on DART trains if they were legally qualified. He didn't mention CHL but I gather that's the implication. I stay away from those DART train platforms, but off hand, are public transit vehicles off limits or legal??

[kjolly]

There is only so much you can do for people that perfer to ignore the realities. I never expect to ever use a gun in defense yet by training, and carrying I feel better about being able to protect wife and self. Last Christmas I overheard a employee telling someone that all his son wants for christmas is a toy gun and he has no idea where the child got that idea because they carefully screen what he sees. Protecting your childern from the real world can be doing them a disservice.

[Purplehood]

Unanticipated things happen. My experience with the need for personal defense dates back to the early 1970's, and the Israeli-Lebanese frontier. I have not had an occasion to draw a weapon, nor have I had an occasion where I witnessed a violent crime, in the last 40 years. Having said that, unanticipated stuff happens, and it doesn't wait for you to go home and load a pistol. Most people are well insulated--even paranoid folks are sometimes right. My wife who used to be anti gun has come around, and neither of us could ever be described as right wing conservative loonies.

Your friends who turn white at the thought of having a weapon nearby need to be educated. Hopefully, educated in a gentle and loving way. There are other ways as well. Spending time in Dallas on DART platforms can be dicey these days, but can also be educational.

A rep for DART made a comment the other day that people could carry on DART trains if they were legally qualified. He didn't mention CHL but I gather that's the implication. I stay away from those DART train platforms, but off hand, are public transit vehicles off limits or legal??

Public transit vehicles are usually a governmental agency by default. If they are not Federal, but State or lower sponsored then they are subject to Texas Laws regarding the CHL.

[johncanfield]

... nor have I had an occasion where I witnessed a violent crime, in the last 40 years. Having said that, unanticipated stuff happens, and it doesn't wait for you to go home and load a pistol

Years ago after a pro football game (the only one I ever attended) was over we were filing out of the stadium and I saw an apparently drunk fan chasing and trying to beat this other guy over the head with his stadium seat. Couldn't wait to bail out of that area. Not sure how that turned out.

Many years ago we were in Venezuela at a marina (we were there in our sailboat) and here's this also apparently drunk Venezuelan guy chasing somebody else with a broken beer bottle completely intent on making contact between the beer bottle and the chasee. We bailed out of that area as fast as possible. Speaking of Venezuela, armed guards were everywhere and were always posted outside of restaurants with a rifle or shotgun. We were in the "yellow zone" anytime we were in town and automatically went to the "red zone" when we went to the bank to withdraw cash.

Dear wife and I had lots of practice looking over our shoulder and being a little paranoid while cruising in the Caribbean and I think that's made us a little more aware and careful in the US. Those folks that have never been in a second or third world country and walk around in their white fog are the more likely future victims of crime IMHO.

[CC Italian]

When I first got my CHL in Jan of 08 some of my friends asked me why. Comments like I didn't need it, you would never need it etc. etc. Well guess what several of them have gone out since then and have gotten a CHL and even more have gotten firearms since then. I am in my early 30s and a lot of us are getting married and starting families, go figure. I was just the first in my group of friends to take my personal safety to the next level.
But yes I totally understand your story. People are uncomfortable with what they don't know. Every single one of them asks me questions all the time now about this gun and that gun etc etc. It is going on across the nation and people are starting to take their personal protection more seriously with all the riff raff they see.

Here is a sign of a soon to be CHLer. Buys a firearm for home protection and then starts carrying in glove box. What do you think the next step is?

[speedsix]

...if you choose to discuss the subject with your friend again...you might want to ask him what if he answered a knock at the door and someone forced their way inside? how would he protect his wife??? a lot of times, a tv news story or newspaper account sounds safer...it's not in their circle of concern...but if you can bring the problem to his door...he may see it differently...
...my best friend's wife (65) feared and loathed guns...wouldn't touch them...till one summer evening we were leaning on her husband's truck and a young man wearing a hoodie jacket with a bandana over his nose/mouth and a hand in his hoodie pocket walked down the alley...it's about 88 degrees out...still daylight...she was terrified...after he saw what he saw and walked on by, she asked us what we'd have done and we told her...the next day, she called my friend at our job and demanded that he buy her a .38...which we did that morning...took her to the range...for her first time shooting anything she did really well..it has to become personal...over there in "that part of town" doesn't move them...

[CC Italian]

Also, I have noticed that many who are anti-chl have an unreasonable or almost paranoid worry that a person is going to shoot them if they have a chl if they get in a bad mood. What is to stop someone from doing that anyway regardless if they have a chl? The argument usually goes something like "your more inclined because the gun is always on you and if you do snap it will make it that much easier". I have never known anybody that just snapped all of a sudden. There are almost always signs that something is wrong! Really think about it. Either that or the person who snapped and their family kept it away from other friends and family members. My point is somebody knows if you’re on the edge unless you have no friends, no family and are a hermit.

I really think it is a feeling to them that you have the power to take a life easier because you have a firearm and they just have their fists. Its funny people walk around with pocket knives on them all day long. You see that little clip on the jean pocket and nobody thinks twice. A knife can kill you just as quickly.

I personally would not tell your friend you have a chl. It sounds like he is a worry wart and I would just leave it at that. All of my friends who didn't at one time have a chl or still don't had little or no experience with firearms at the time and most of them I taught how to shoot.

Edit: I have life long friends (since I was 5) and the fact that I have a chl does not scare them in the least even if they don't have a chl. In fact when we go somewhere as a group in couples and others want to drink I am usually the one to volunteer to be the designated driver and I usually carry on me or in my car if we go to a bar. I have a protector gene in me I guess. I like to help and take care of people. Plus the older I get the less I drink. A true friend will understand your reasons why, they might not agree with you but I don't see a reason why they would be scared. Your not reading this with a tin foil hat or waiting for the G-man to come kick down your door are you?
Didn't think so!

[DLBConductor]

Your not reading this with a tin foil hat or waiting for the G-man to come kick down your door are you? Didn't think so!

You would be correct.

[alvins]

i have a friend who is the tin foil hat type it can get annoying.