A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says, “I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.
“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams.
“We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this.”
She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Moderators: carlson1, Charles L. Cotton
Let's Lighten the Mood Here
“I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.” - Frank Lloyd Wright
"Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of arms" - Aristotle
"Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of arms" - Aristotle
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Armed not dangerous but potentially lethal.
CHL Application mailed 10/2/12
Plastic in hand 11/16/12
CHL Application mailed 10/2/12
Plastic in hand 11/16/12
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Definitely a good one! 
NRA-Life member, NRA Instructor, NRA RSO, TSRA member,
Vietnam (AF) Veteran -- Amateur Extra class amateur radio operator: N5WD
Email: CHL@centurylink.net
Vietnam (AF) Veteran -- Amateur Extra class amateur radio operator: N5WD
Email: CHL@centurylink.net
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jimlongley
- Senior Member
- Posts: 6134
- Joined: Wed Jan 12, 2005 1:31 pm
- Location: Allen, TX
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Kythas wrote:“Okay” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”
NRA Endowment Member
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Nice. I had forgotten that one and didn't see it coming.
I am not and have never been a LEO. My avatar is in honor of my friend, Dallas Police Sargent Michael Smith, who was murdered along with four other officers in Dallas on 7.7.2016.
NRA Patriot-Endowment Lifetime Member---------------------------------------------Si vis pacem, para bellum.................................................Patriot Guard Rider
NRA Patriot-Endowment Lifetime Member---------------------------------------------Si vis pacem, para bellum.................................................Patriot Guard Rider
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The Annoyed Man
- Senior Member
- Posts: 26892
- Joined: Wed Jan 16, 2008 12:59 pm
- Location: North Richland Hills, Texas
- Contact:
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
― G. Michael Hopf, "Those Who Remain"
#TINVOWOOT
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Love this
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. - Thomas Edison
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surprise_i'm_armed
- Senior Member
- Posts: 4624
- Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 1:16 am
- Location: Shady Shores, Denton County. On the shores of Lake Lewisville. John Wayne filmed here.
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Q. Do you know why you would never starve to death in any desert?
A. It's easy - because of all the sand which is there. (Say this out loud).
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Have you heard that the scientists have now developed French poodles that can talk?
The very first one said "I HATE my hair like this!". :-)
SIA
A. It's easy - because of all the sand which is there. (Say this out loud).
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Have you heard that the scientists have now developed French poodles that can talk?
The very first one said "I HATE my hair like this!". :-)
SIA
N. Texas LTC's hold 3 breakfasts each month. All are 800 AM. OC is fine.
2nd Saturdays: Rudy's BBQ, N. Dallas Pkwy, N.bound, N. of Main St., Frisco.
3rd Saturdays: Golden Corral, 465 E. I-20, Collins St exit, Arlington.
4th Saturdays: Sunny St. Cafe, off I-20, Exit 415, Mikus Rd, Willow Park.
2nd Saturdays: Rudy's BBQ, N. Dallas Pkwy, N.bound, N. of Main St., Frisco.
3rd Saturdays: Golden Corral, 465 E. I-20, Collins St exit, Arlington.
4th Saturdays: Sunny St. Cafe, off I-20, Exit 415, Mikus Rd, Willow Park.
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Happily Ever After
- Member
- Posts: 74
- Joined: Fri Sep 14, 2012 6:56 pm
Re: Let's Lighten the Mood Here
Q. How many ex community organizers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.
A. One. He holds the bulb and the world revolves around him.