You have two cows...

[The Annoyed Man]

This is America. You can be whatever you want.

For years I was a member of the Texas Longhorn Breeders Association, wore the cap and t-shirt, even though I have never owned a whole live cow, and had only two sons, that I know of.

Soooo....that's where the phrase: "he's all hat and no cattle", originated, huh?

See my avatar. Big hat. No cattle.

[The Annoyed Man]

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption
for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

This one is not only so true, it is exactly what happens when socialists reveal their oligarchical instincts, their profound ignorance about sound accounting practices, and their fundamental immorality.

[sunny beach]

You have three cows. They tell you to

[BigGuy]

ANY OF SEVERAL THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES:
You just bought two cows.
Now you have to get them home.
It's going to take two trips.