New Dad Advice Needed

[texanron]

Three weeks ago the wife and I became parents for the first time of twin girls. Things are going wonderful around the house and I'm enjoying every minute I have with all three of them. I took two weeks off from everything following their birth but I'm starting to get restless. Here is where I need advice from y'all: when should I realistically consider getting back into the gym in the mornings? My thinking is that I should wait till the girls are sleeping through the night. That way I'm at the gym while everyone is still sleeping and back home right as everyone is waking up or still sleeping. I'm trying to keep momma happy becasue if momma ain't happy no one is happy. I visit the shooting range during the week on my lunch hour so that has not suffered. Had to get some kind of gun reference in the post!

[RPB]

3 weeks ago
Twin girls?

I raised 2 girls

Advice
1) Keep momma happy
2) Don't mention, but watch for postpartum depression, it's chemical/hormonal, they can't help getting it or not and sometimes they get it right after they say "I didn't get postpartum depression"
3) keep momma happy

Forget the gym temporarily, curl the babies.
Do sit-ups holding the babies.
Do squats holding the babies.
Bench press cases of formula.
Lay on a chair and lift babies off the floor for Lats/Pecks

Then go outside and RUN, RUN like the wind .... just don't forget to come back, they'll be potty trained before you get the books read on how to potty train them ...

[Hoi Polloi]

It depends on how much not going to the gym negatively affects you and how much your leaving your post-partum wife alone with twin newborns affects her.

If she's doing well and you aren't, getting back to the gym now would be the way to go. If she's overwhelmed and you just went back to work and you're taking personal time for other hobbies and pursuits then adding in the gym now when you could do some sit ups and put the girls in a running stroller and take them out to give your wife a break while they have some time with daddy, well then the gym wouldn't be a wise choice.

Is your wife breastfeeding? If so, the girls sleeping through the night probably isn't a good measure to use. Much better would be when their mommy is getting enough sleep to function somewhat normally. The latter usually comes first, especially with breastfed kiddos because mom can sleep through the feedings. If they're bottle-fed, who is doing the night feedings? If you, then if you can get up early and get to the gym now, too, and there aren't other complicating factors (your wife having post-partum depression or being extremely overwhelmed, your mother coming for a visit, stuff like that) then I'd think that would be fine. If you're taking turns with her doing night shift then maybe you could go to the gym on alternating days.

The key is really just communication. You say what you know and where you are. She says what she knows and where she is. Then you take both of those as true facts and you make a plan that addresses it all. Then everyone will be happy!

Congratulations!

[gemini]

Congrats on the new family! Those girls don't really "need" you right now, they "need" Mom. If you're
helping change diapers, running household errands, running a load or two of laundry etc. I bet your
wife wouldn't mind you hitting the gym for a hour or so in the mornings. Ask her.
I will tell you that one thing that will help keep your wife sane. As soon as the twins establish a regular
feed/sleep cycle: volunteer to watch the twins and let your wife go get her nails done or have lunch out
with girlfriends etc. And do it at least once a week. Kids are great! Life changers for sure.
Good luck.

[puma guy]

Congratulations to you and your wife. Are they identical or fraternal? Being a twin and having twin grand daughters I can only advise you to rest up and save all strength! Two minds working together! that's all I'll say. The only advice I can give is to start two savings accounts for each of them. One for college and one for the WEDDING! I had three daughters and while I was ready for college the weddings were something I wasn't prepared for. Whoa! And of course you'll be buying two of everything. Just a word to the wise!

Seriously I know you will enjoy them as they grow and you'll see an amazing communication between them as they grow and develop. I watch our twin grand daughters and I'm amazed how they understood each other's jibberish before they could talk.

[MoJo]

I can't add much except to say congratulations. I raised four daughters they are all married and have kids of their own. Wait till the boys start coming around.

[Charles L. Cotton]

Congratulations! You and your wife are truly blessed.

Now, take some advice from a veteran husband and father. Don't deviate from these instructions in the least -- they will save you many hours of sleep.

At some point your wife is going to decide that you need to share the feeding duties during the early morning hours. With twins, she's going to make her opinion known earlier than would otherwise be the case with one infant.

Here's a key first step; when she suggests or asks you to share those duties, joyfully agree with her and have a big smile on your face. Appear to look forward to getting up at 2:00 am or any other time the girls cry. (Cementing this appearance is critical to success of the entire program.)

When your wife wakes you the first time, be sure to stagger around as though still half asleep. Pretend to constantly wipe sleep from your eyes, but under no circumstances say anything. This cannot be overstressed -- don't say a word! If you must, you can mumble something incoherent. While still staggering, pick up one of the girls and go to the kitchen. (Remember, even though you are feigning the staggered gait, be careful and don't trip, that little girl's safety comes before your sleep.) Your wife is sure to follow you because of your staggering. Open the refrigerator door -- she'll think you are getting a bottle for your daughter. Then -- now listen closely since this is a key element in the program -- pull out the vegetable crisper drawer and gently lay the baby in the drawer and start to close it. Don't worry, you're not going to really close it and your wife will be screaming "what are you doing!!" and she'll be taking the baby away from you in a nanosecond.

Great, most of the plan will be executed at this point, but you must stay in character. Don't respond to her, don't jump when she screeches in shock and fear, just remain in your quasi-zombie state and stagger back to bed. Here's another key point; don't get under the covers, just fall face down into the bed. When your wife gets through feeding and changing the girls, she'll come back to bed only to see you face down in bed. It would be an added bonus if you could snore a bit also. She'll make you move so she can get in bed, but again, remain in character and move lethargically. Great, you're almost done.

The final step is absolute denial the next morning when she confronts you claiming you were faking. "What are you talking about?" and "you must have been dreaming" are great responses. Anything that makes it sound like you think she's crazy usually works. Now you have to understand that some women are naturally more suspicious than others, so you may have to repeat this process once, perhaps even twice, but I've never known any Dad to do this three times. Once worked for me.

Your reward will be many hundreds of additional hours of restful sleep knowing that your little girls are being taking care of by your wonder wife. And the best part is your daughters will never remember any of it!

Seriously, the Lord has blessed you and your wife. Congratulations!

Chas.

[WildBill]

Congratulations! You and your wife are truly blessed.

Now, take some advice from a veteran husband and father. Don't deviate from these instructions in the least -- they will save you many hours of sleep.

Your reward will be many hundreds of additional hours of restful sleep knowing that your little girls are being taking care of by your wonder wife. And the best part is your daughters will never remember any of it!

Chas.

Spoken like a pro.

[jmra]

Congratulations! You and your wife are truly blessed.

Now, take some advice from a veteran husband and father. Don't deviate from these instructions in the least -- they will save you many hours of sleep.

Your reward will be many hundreds of additional hours of restful sleep knowing that your little girls are being taking care of by your wonder wife. And the best part is your daughters will never remember any of it!

Chas.

Spoken like a pro.

Works with laundry too. Mess up a few of her nice outfits and you'll never be asked to do laundry again.

[Jasonw560]

From a father of twin boys:

Exercise with them. Do curls, etc. They weigh more than you think.

Pick a twin once mom decides she wants to split he duties. Stick with it.

Give mom some time off. It's a big deal raising twins. Let mom pamper hefself.

The HEB formula is just as good as thne name-brand stuff, no matter what the pediatrician says. If your wife is breast feeding, then she deserves a

So are the diapers. Stock up.

You don't need two of everything, just most things.

If you have any more questions, feel free to PM me.

Oh, yes, it does get easier.

[bci21984]

+2 on the formula.

we use parents choice which is the walmart brand, their big can is $11 something. the ingredients are IDENTICAL to enfamil and its half the price.

[Katygunnut]

Congratulations! You and your wife are truly blessed.

Now, take some advice from a veteran husband and father. Don't deviate from these instructions in the least -- they will save you many hours of sleep.

Your reward will be many hundreds of additional hours of restful sleep knowing that your little girls are being taking care of by your wonder wife. And the best part is your daughters will never remember any of it!

Chas.

Spoken like a pro.

Works with laundry too. Mess up a few of her nice outfits and you'll never be asked to do laundry again.

And shopping. Costco / Sams Club is great for buying 10 gallon containers of peanut butter, huge jugs of the wrong kind of milk, etc., etc.

As Charles said, the trick is to show extreme enthusiasm. You want her to think that you are completely willing, just hopelessly incompetent. Don't even wait to be asked. Just do it (incorrectly) until she forbids you from doing it anymore. Then make sure you act like you are hurt a bit by her lack of confidence in your shopping / laundry / child rearing abilities.

[The Annoyed Man]

For now, let the sixpack abs go to hades. You can always get back into the gym when you're about 48. If you're wife complains about your deteriorating figure, respond with "You made me this way!" and start crying.

Then walk yourself to the doghouse and jump in.

Seriously though, until your wife suggests that you should get out of the house more, be as available as you can to both her and your babies. Cloth diapers stink, but they make a great place to layout gun parts after you're done using them for the their intended purpose. I wish I could tell you more, but my only child turned 21 this past January. I've obviously forgotten the hard parts, but the upside is that all my memories of raising him are good ones. I do remember the day we got him home from the hospital though. We set the baby carrier thingie on the couch, looked at him, and both said "now what?" I can't imagine that times two. If I had to do it all over again, I would have spent more time in the Word, seeking guidance, perspective, and inspiration. Instead, like a lot of first time parents, we got through it without accidentally killing him.... ...although there was this one time....

I wish the same for you.

Oh, and don't forget to teach 'em how to fish, shoot, spit, and cuss. Well, maybe not the cuss part. They'll learn that on their own and spring it on you right when it will have its most possibly embarrassing effect.

[WildBill]

Congratulations! You and your wife are truly blessed.

Now, take some advice from a veteran husband and father. Don't deviate from these instructions in the least -- they will save you many hours of sleep.

Your reward will be many hundreds of additional hours of restful sleep knowing that your little girls are being taking care of by your wonder wife. And the best part is your daughters will never remember any of it!

Chas.

Spoken like a pro.

Works with laundry too. Mess up a few of her nice outfits and you'll never be asked to do laundry again.

And shopping. Costco / Sams Club is great for buying 10 gallon containers of peanut butter, huge jugs of the wrong kind of milk, etc., etc.

As Charles said, the trick is to show extreme enthusiasm. You want her to think that you are completely willing, just hopelessly incompetent. Don't even wait to be asked. Just do it (incorrectly) until she forbids you from doing it anymore. Then make sure you act like you are hurt a bit by her lack of confidence in your shopping / laundry / child rearing abilities.

I think Charles should have posted this in the "Men's Only Forum".

[The Annoyed Man]

I think Charles should have posted this in the "Men's Only Forum".

Three years and three and a half months of membership, 7,215 posts under my belt (#5 in the rankings as of today), and nobody ever told me about the "Men's Only Forum?"