Mrs. W560 and I were talking about the firearms issue in relation to the CT tragedy.
To give you some background:
She's somewhat of what I call an "academia nut". Started out as a teacher, now after school program coordinator, with aspirations on being an ass't. principal.
She leans almost as far right as I do on most issues, been around guns her entire life, etc. etc. (If you search my posts I've talked about her in the past).
She doesn't think that people should own AR type rifles. Every argument I give her she sniggers at, calling them unreasonable or not likely to happen.
Anyway, she told me that if I pursue my CHL, it would be a "deal breaker" for our marriage because she wouldn't "feel safe" and that not everyone who doesn't carry has the victim mentality.
She's blowing smoke, IMO. If not, I'll be looking for different accomidations. I have told her my family's safety is paramount. She asked what I am afraid of, and half jokingly said, "nothing if I was carrying." I then proceeded to look at budsgunshop website for a CCW.
Just wanted to vent.
NRA EPL pending life member
"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government"- Patrick Henry
Good luck with that, hopefully she could attend the class with you and see the caliber of folks getting CHL's, my class had doctors to oil field workers (literally). Like minded people might expand her perspective.
"Character is doing the right thing, even when nobody is looking" - J.C. watts Jr.
CHL since Jan. 2013
53 days mailbox to mailbox.
RoyGBiv wrote:What are her objections, other than not wanting to give in to "paranoia"?
Pull up the crime stats for your area and show them to her.
"Won't happen to me" should go right out the window with real local data.
Good luck with working through this. I'd hate for this to cause big trouble for your marriage.
Well, she thinks that carrying is "extreme". There's no need since we don't deal in drugs, or do anything illegal.
She doesn't just stay in her comfort zone--she has her bed and comfy blanket in there and snuggles down deep in it.
She told me point blank don't show her stats...she could show me stats that prove her point.
I live in the Valley. We have shootings every day. She believes that it's only the cartel and other assorted scumbags shooting at each other and we're safe.
Like I said, she's blowing smoke.
thanks for letting me vent.
NRA EPL pending life member
"The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government"- Patrick Henry
Jasonw560 wrote:Mrs. W560 and I were talking about the firearms issue in relation to the CT tragedy.
To give you some background:
She's somewhat of what I call an "academia nut". Started out as a teacher, now after school program coordinator, with aspirations on being an ass't. principal.
She leans almost as far right as I do on most issues, been around guns her entire life, etc. etc. (If you search my posts I've talked about her in the past).
She doesn't think that people should own AR type rifles. Every argument I give her she sniggers at, calling them unreasonable or not likely to happen.
Anyway, she told me that if I pursue my CHL, it would be a "deal breaker" for our marriage because she wouldn't "feel safe" and that not everyone who doesn't carry has the victim mentality.
She's blowing smoke, IMO. If not, I'll be looking for different accomidations. I have told her my family's safety is paramount. She asked what I am afraid of, and half jokingly said, "nothing if I was carrying." I then proceeded to look at budsgunshop website for a CCW.
Just wanted to vent.
You have over a thousand posts on this forum and you haven't gotten your CHL yet? That's like dating a girl for 20 years before you pop the question. Take the plunge dude!
Life is tough, but it's tougher when you're stupid.
John Wayne
NRA Lifetime member
My wife didn't object to me getting guns or getting my CHL, but she asked me this exact same question when I told her I would be carrying every time I left the house. She said, "We live in a low crime city in a low crime neighborhood. You've never needed a gun in your life. Why now?"
My answer was I'm not getting any younger. I can't protect you by fighting someone off. If once in the next 40 years I was faced with that choice and lost you, I would never forgive myself for not having trained constantly and carried always. I hope I never have to use it, but if I have to I will.
She has since quit asking me if I'm carrying, because every time she did I always answered, "Of course!"
The Constitution preserves the advantage of being armed which Americans possess over the people of almost every other nation where the governments are afraid to trust the people with arms. James Madison
NRA Life Member Texas Firearms Coalition member
Does she have trust issues with you? She made the comment "she wouldn't feel safe" if you got a gun. What does that mean? Sounds like you might have more issues than a gun.
Like others have said maybe get her involved a little with people that shoot. Find a nice clean range close to you and take her there. Let her see the women shooting and the caliber of people that shoot weapons at the ranges now days.
Every argument I give her she sniggers at, calling them unreasonable or not likely to happen.
It's unlikely that people will get really ill, have car wrecks or have homes which go through natural disasters, so Insurance companies profit, yet those things do occur, and I'd bet she's not willing to go without insurance. Same with fire extinguishers, or smoke alarms ... it's unreasonable to require smoke alarms everywhere, they only need them where a fire will occur ... so just figure out how to know that and ...
I'm no lawyer
"Never show your hole card" "Always have something in reserve"
I am blessed in that I have never had to deal with this. My wife got her CHL about a year after I got mine. She carries every single day, a Kahr CW9, and she has her own AR15 carbine which my son and I built for her for her birthday a while back.
Honestly, I don't think this is a fight you can win, but it may not matter because it sounds like your wife doesn't respect you very much. Only you can decide whether your marriage is worth fighting for. Either way, I would just go ahead and get the CHL and carry the gun. If she protests, I'd tell her to deal with it. If she pushes it, ask her if this is the proverbial hill she wants the marriage to die on. Here's what it is going to take for her to change her mind: She's going to need to be badly scared by a really close call where it becomes suddenly apparent that a gun would have been handy, and she is suddenly relieved to find out that you have yours on you.
I am well aware of the arrogance of Academe. Both my parents were Caltech professors. They were both incredibly bright, and very sure that they had the world all figured out. My dad was a wounded veteran of Iwo Jima, so he understood war and killing, but he would have never been caught dead carrying the 1911 he brought home from the war that I eventually inherited from him after his death. They were both openly contemptuous of gun owners........despite the fact that we had two of them stored in the garage: that old 1911, and an old .22 bolt rifle he had been given as a child.
That's how academics view gun owners. They think gun ownership is something to be hidden, if you have one. They think of themselves as superior and secure in themselves, and they think that the "need" for a gun is a symptom of weakness and insecurity. That's why they always ask that question, "Why do you NEED a gun?" It would never occur to them that it isn't about a current "need," it's about being prepared for the Black Swan event that cannot be foreseen, when the unforeseeable need arises. THAT's when you have the need. They would never comprehend the argument that having a gun on your hip is like having a fire extinguisher in your kitchen or a pocket knife. It's not that you fear a kitchen fire. It's not that you think your kitchen will burst into flame any moment. It's simply that you want to be prepared in the event that you do have a fire, which is not an unheard-of thing. When you view it in that light, if you have the fire extinguisher, you can relax and forget about it, because you know you're equipped to stop one instead of helplessly watching your house burn down. It doesn't dominate your thoughts. Or, maybe here is an argument a teacher today would understand: "I carry a gun for the same reason that you tell your students to keep a condom in their wallet. It's not that you want them to Same with CHL. When I'm carrying a gun, it doesn't dominate my thoughts. I don't worry about a "kitchen fire" because I've got a "fire extinguisher." Academics make fun of the Boy Scouts of America motto: "Be Prepared."
There's an apocryphal story about an old woman who challenges an older Texas Ranger for wearing his gun to some public event or other, and she asks him if he's expecting trouble. "No, ma'am, I'm not expecting trouble. If I was expecting trouble, I'd have brought a rifle."
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
Many years ago, when I was taking flying lessons, my wife not only wouldn't go for a flight, she wouldn't even go to the airport. She thought I was selfish, irresponsible, untrustworthy, a liar, a poor provider and a lousy husband.
Years later, my wife not only went to the airport but was a licensed pilot herself, an eager navigator on our many trips around the western US, on many grand adventures. She thought she had the greatest husband in the world, and still does, even though I can no longer fly.
How did I arrange this happy turn of fate, you may ask?
I switched wives. Expensive, but worth every penny.
Luckily, I have enough willpower to control the driving ambition that rages within me.
JALLEN wrote:Many years ago, when I was taking flying lessons, my wife not only wouldn't go for a flight, she wouldn't even go to the airport. She thought I was selfish, irresponsible, untrustworthy, a liar, a poor provider and a lousy husband.
Years later, my wife not only went to the airport but was a licensed pilot herself, an eager navigator on our many trips around the western US, on many grand adventures. She thought she had the greatest husband in the world, and still does, even though I can no longer fly.
How did I arrange this happy turn of fate, you may ask?
I switched wives. Expensive, but worth every penny.
OH yeah! Been there and done that. My ex-wife is saddened by my tragically having become a paranoid, stupid, unenlightened, Christian, gun-toting conservative. My current wife IS a paranoid, stupid, unenlightened, Christian, gun-toting conservative.....and she's 10 times smarter than my ex. I'm a lucky man to be married to her, and no longer burdened by the ex...........whose pie-in-the-sky new-age the universe is a gentle place lack of discernment is thankfully no longer my problem.
“Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
years ago my wife told me that if I bought another weapon she was going to leave me, I told her I sure was gonna miss her and went out and bought another weapon, she's still here been 30 years now
JALLEN wrote:Many years ago, when I was taking flying lessons, my wife not only wouldn't go for a flight, she wouldn't even go to the airport. She thought I was selfish, irresponsible, untrustworthy, a liar, a poor provider and a lousy husband.
Years later, my wife not only went to the airport but was a licensed pilot herself, an eager navigator on our many trips around the western US, on many grand adventures. She thought she had the greatest husband in the world, and still does, even though I can no longer fly.
How did I arrange this happy turn of fate, you may ask?
I switched wives. Expensive, but worth every penny.
OH yeah! Been there and done that. My ex-wife is saddened by my tragically having become a paranoid, stupid, unenlightened, Christian, gun-toting conservative. My current wife IS a paranoid, stupid, unenlightened, Christian, gun-toting conservative.....and she's 10 times smarter than my ex. I'm a lucky man to be married to her, and no longer burdened by the ex...........whose pie-in-the-sky new-age the universe is a gentle place lack of discernment is thankfully no longer my problem.
I'll add that it was your first wife's loss...and the Great State of Texas' gain.
Been there and done that. My ex-wife is saddened by my tragically having become a paranoid, stupid, unenlightened, Christian, gun-toting conservative. My current wife IS a paranoid, stupid, unenlightened, Christian, gun-toting conservative.....and she's 10 times smarter than my ex. I'm a lucky man to be married to her, and no longer burdened by the ex...........whose pie-in-the-sky new-age the universe is a gentle place lack of discernment is thankfully no longer my problem.