Page 1 of 2

How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Mon Oct 28, 2013 11:40 pm
by bauer
Not really sure if this is meant to be serious or satire. Either way it's a pretty amusing "how to". I want to call it a satire piece but I'm not really sure that a large majority of America would view it that way.

I certainly had a good laugh.

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Being-Shot" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 5:19 am
by jmra
"Remember, these instructions are meant as suggestions, and are not intended to replace common sense"
:smilelol5:

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 7:55 am
by chasfm11
"Most people who are shot die literally from giving up. It helps if you know you've only been shot by a 9mm Parabellum or .45 ACP."

And that knowledge helps me how? The authors really have to have had their tongues in their cheeks or their heads...........


Maybe this is the key:
"Edited by Krystle C., Zack, Commiezilla, Ben Rubenstein and 55 others" (Emphasis mine)

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:09 am
by RoyGBiv
Here's the video...

[youtube]http://youtube.com/watch?v=SNrnk9pAiBs[/youtube]

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:09 am
by jimlongley
chasfm11 wrote:"Most people who are shot die literally from giving up. It helps if you know you've only been shot by a 9mm Parabellum or .45 ACP."

And that knowledge helps me how? The authors really have to have had their tongues in their cheeks or their heads...........


Maybe this is the key:
"Edited by Krystle C., Zack, Commiezilla, Ben Rubenstein and 55 others" (Emphasis mine)
"only been shot by . . ."

I wonder what they consider to be more lethal.

The article seems to me to be in all seriousness, despite several weaknesses.

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:21 am
by SC1903A3
GIGN, Mon Dieu

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:22 am
by The Annoyed Man
chasfm11 wrote:"Most people who are shot die literally from giving up. It helps if you know you've only been shot by a 9mm Parabellum or .45 ACP."

And that knowledge helps me how? The authors really have to have had their tongues in their cheeks or their heads...........


Maybe this is the key:
"Edited by Krystle C., Zack, Commiezilla, Ben Rubenstein and 55 others" (Emphasis mine)
Tell that to the tens of thousands of guys shot dead with a .22.
jimlongley wrote:
chasfm11 wrote:"Most people who are shot die literally from giving up. It helps if you know you've only been shot by a 9mm Parabellum or .45 ACP."

And that knowledge helps me how? The authors really have to have had their tongues in their cheeks or their heads...........


Maybe this is the key:
"Edited by Krystle C., Zack, Commiezilla, Ben Rubenstein and 55 others" (Emphasis mine)
"only been shot by . . ."

I wonder what they consider to be more lethal.

The article seems to me to be in all seriousness, despite several weaknesses.
The truth is that about 80% or so of gunshot victims survive their injuries. I've seen a guy who was shot right through the heart with a 9mm survive his injury. The article is right. . . . .if you give up hope, you may die (it's not guaranteed that you will). OTH, if you get PO'd enough to want to live to kick the other guy's butt later, you'll probably live.

And, a very large percentage of people hit by gunfire take a hit in their extremities, abdomen, or lung fields, so barring a strike to the aorta, vena cava, or femoral artery, people hit in those places will die of a wound infection before the actual gunshot wound kills them. . . . .and dying of a wound infection could take days or weeks. And since hospitals tend to have antibiotics and surgical teams on hand, dying of a wound infection due to perforated bowel is not an immediately pressing concern.

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:40 am
by chasfm11
TAM,

I think the point here was about knowing that you have been shot by a .45ACP. .22 caliber is said (I did a quick search, couldn't verify) to kill more people every year than any other. I suspect that the reason is that more people are shot by .22 than any other caliber. I understand and agree with your point that many people survive gun shot wounds but those survivals have nothing to do with the understanding by those people of the caliber of gun that shot them.

We certainly have had enough caliber wars on this board and many appear to believe that that the larger the hole, the less likelihood that the person who is shot will survive. The discussion about mouse guns comes up constantly. Of all of the calibers that the authors could have picked as an example, 9 and .45 seem the least likely choices. It still may be open for some to question about whether the article is done satirically or whether those people who contributed to it need a glass navel. It isn't for me.

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:44 am
by bauer
jimlongley wrote:
chasfm11 wrote:"Most people who are shot die literally from giving up. It helps if you know you've only been shot by a 9mm Parabellum or .45 ACP."

And that knowledge helps me how? The authors really have to have had their tongues in their cheeks or their heads...........


Maybe this is the key:
"Edited by Krystle C., Zack, Commiezilla, Ben Rubenstein and 55 others" (Emphasis mine)
"only been shot by . . ."

I wonder what they consider to be more lethal.

The article seems to me to be in all seriousness, despite several weaknesses.
Thats what scares me the most.

Number 8 is my favorite "Get the Gun. Knock the gun out of their hands first, then get the gun, as quickly as possible."
chasfm11 wrote: It still may be open for some to question about whether the article is done satirically or whether those people who contributed to it need a glass navel. It isn't for me.
The more I've thought about it the more I believe this to be in all seriousness. Satire pieces that are as outlandish as this one 95% of the time come from sources that are known for that type of work (i.e. Onion News Network). This "work" is from a source that never does satire pieces so I honestly think it was meant to be real and "informative".

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:47 am
by The Annoyed Man
bauer wrote:Not really sure if this is meant to be serious or satire. Either way it's a pretty amusing "how to". I want to call it a satire piece but I'm not really sure that a large majority of America would view it that way.

I certainly had a good laugh.

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Being-Shot" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Apparently, this is how it works. . . . . .

First, you're supposed to assume that his 5-shot .38 Special snubby (which is not pointed at you) trumps your 8 round .45 ACP 1911 loaded with silver bullets (and pointed at him) in all respects:
Image

Then, you're supposed to break the grip frame and trigger guard off your gun, drop it, and run:
Image

Then, when you emerge unarmed from behind concrete cover (where you were safe), you're supposed scoop up a lump of coal and show it to the bad guy before hucking it at him:
Image

Then after you have hucked all the coal at the bad guy, he is supposed to take a nap, while you place your foot on his chest and shout "JUdo-o-o-o-o-o CHOP!"
Image

Very instructive. :cool:

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:56 am
by bauer
The Annoyed Man wrote:

Then after you have hucked all the coal at the bad guy, he is supposed to take a nap, while you place your foot on his chest and shout "JUdo-o-o-o-o-o CHOP!"
[ Image ]
"rlol"

I lost it right here. Still cleaning coffee off my screen and keyboard.

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:39 am
by LAYGO
This might be a kid's school project.

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 1:04 pm
by The Annoyed Man
bauer wrote:
The Annoyed Man wrote:

Then after you have hucked all the coal at the bad guy, he is supposed to take a nap, while you place your foot on his chest and shout "JUdo-o-o-o-o-o CHOP!"
[ Image ]
"rlol"

I lost it right here. Still cleaning coffee off my screen and keyboard.
:mrgreen:

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:59 pm
by VoiceofReason
bauer wrote:
The Annoyed Man wrote:

Then after you have hucked all the coal at the bad guy, he is supposed to take a nap, while you place your foot on his chest and shout "JUdo-o-o-o-o-o CHOP!"
[ Image ]
"rlol"

I lost it right here. Still cleaning coffee off my screen and keyboard.
At least coffee didn't come out of your nose, or did it? Don't you hate it when that happens? :lol:

Re: How to avoid being shot!!

Posted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:23 pm
by jmra
VoiceofReason wrote:
bauer wrote:
The Annoyed Man wrote:

Then after you have hucked all the coal at the bad guy, he is supposed to take a nap, while you place your foot on his chest and shout "JUdo-o-o-o-o-o CHOP!"
[ Image ]
"rlol"

I lost it right here. Still cleaning coffee off my screen and keyboard.
At least coffee didn't come out of your nose, or did it? Don't you hate it when that happens? :lol:
Y'all drink way too much coffee.