Men's Tools Defined

[jimlongley]

While delivering a new dryer to a soon-to-be-married couple's
newly painted (white) apartment, I uncurled the twisted-up
220V three prong power cord.

I plugged the cord into the wall socket, then unfurled the
cord so that I could screw it onto the leads on the back
of the new dryer, in the straightest fashion.

Bad mistake. The plug was in the wall and when I first
touched the screwdriver to the screws on the back of the
plier, we were all treated to a rather dramatic flash of
electricity.

I didn't lose any fingers, but their freshly painted white
baseboards caught a nasty black flareup blemish. Since
the dryer would cover it up, it wasn't such a big deal.

Could have been bad, but I still have all my digits.

SIA

About once a week I get a power cord returned, at Home Depot, that someone has "tested" by plugging it in without clearing the ends. I keep having to remind myself that I cannot say "We refund for defects only, and stupid is not a defect."

[Mando'a]

It's like cougartex followed me for a week.
I would also like to add that a thumb is no match for a table saw projectile.

My youngest brother ("youngest" being relative, as he's 54 now) is a licensed general contractor in California. He came into that business from being self-employed as a handyman. One day he had his table saw set up in the driveway and was cutting some 2x8s. As he fed in one of the boards, the saw kicked it out at him like a pile-driver right into his lower abdomen. Scared the heck out of him because it hurt so bad he thought he had ruptured something. Turned out to be just a deep bruise, but that's why I build websites today for a living. None of my computers has ever tried to kill me — except perhaps by driving my blood pressure up to unsustainable levels.

I have scars on the back of my hand from my computer attacking me. Discharged a power supply capacitor through a couple of fingers, jerked the hand owning those fingers back, right into a multi-pin connector which penetrated quite efficiently, and then tore just as efficiently as the hand left it at a tangent to the original entry. The stupid thing was unplugged too.

My grandpappy used to call pliers "nut rounders" as in "Hand me them thar nut rounders, Jimmer."

I was working on a server, that WAS OFF. I verified that.
Somehow my wedding ring completed a circuit on the motherboard. ZAP! Decorum dictates that I say this... It was a shocking experience.

Didn't hurt to bad, scorched the skin under my ring.

Needless to say, Dell had to deliver a motherboard...

I now remove my rings before opening a computer...